Following a typical and completely predictable Roughriders’ loss to one of the worst teams in CFL history, Roughriders’ head coach Corey Mace revealed he had no idea what team he was coaching when he claimed multiple times that the Roughriders did not look like themselves during Saturday night’s 42-31 beatdown courtesy the inept Edmonton Elk(s).
“It just didn’t look like us,” he said during a somber postgame presser. “We did not look like ourselves.”
As anyone who has a passing understanding of how the Saskatchewan Roughriders operate, the Saturday night massacre was exactly what the Roughriders look like.
When sole possession of first place is in their grasp, when they are playing a team that has not won a game in months (especially an Edmonton team they can and should snap the neck of), when the other team is starting a new and inexperienced Canadian quarterback, on a perfect night of football in the midst of a celebration (Queen City Ex), in front a relatively large home crowd of expectant and loyal fans, when everything is going their way, that’s when they always shit the bed. You can set your watch to this kind of precision losing.
Joel Gasson of 3DownNation, who obviously knows his shit, nailed it in the first two sentences of his August 3, 2024, article The good, the bad, and the dumb of the Riders’ 42-31 loss to Edmonton:
“If you were wondering why some Rider fans had a weird feeling in the pit of their stomach this week, it’s because they’ve seen this script before.
“No matter who the head coach is, who the players are, or what the year is, no one seems to know how to give a struggling team a big win like the Saskatchewan Roughriders.“
The Roughriders fans who “had a weird feeling in the pit of their stomach(s)” were the Roughriders’ fans who have seen the Roughriders play football since the last minute of the 1976 season.
An exquisite and epic bed-shitting at just the right time is the Saskatchewan Roughriders’ modus operandi.
One must concede the injury bug is really starting to pile up on the Roughriders. Notable injured starters include Philip Blake, Trevor Harris, Kian Schaffer-Baker, A.J. Ouellette, Jermarcus Hardrick and Anthony Lanier. But that’s how football works. It’s a rough game.
Defensive tackle Anthony Lanier’s absence from the lineup probably explains, in large part, why the Roughriders were run over by the heretofore non-existent Elks running game, but the Roughriders have done a fairly good job of slotting in replacements. Rookie receiver Ajou Ajou, former Michigan Wolverine quarterback Shea Patterson and inexplicable practice squad member Frankie Hickson being notable examples of strong additions to the starting lineup.
Ajou Ajou is not long for the CFL. He moves (and catches) like an NFL receiver, so I expect he will be a solid addition to a few NFL practice rosters in about two years. He’ll make a million or two after a few seasons making the minimum playing on scout teams, maybe a start or two, then return to the CFL with NFLitis, where he will be an inconsistent shadow of his former self playing for the Calgary Stampeders (close to his family).
Shea Patterson is showing why he was a starting quarterback at a big US college Division I football team. When Trevor Harris returns from injury, he should get a solid dozen games in before something else snaps on his finely-tuned but brittle and elderly body, and then Mr. Patterson will lead the team into the playoffs, losing to the Winnipeg Blue Bombers in the West Division Semifinal (if the Riders’ are lucky).
Frankie Hickson will get plenty of playing time, if for no other reason than Mr. Ouellette’s running style will produce many injuries that will keep Mr. Ouellette on the sideline for much of the season, eating mini-donuts and keeping up an insane workout regime (a weird combo).
But I digress.
The Saskatchewan Roughrider lose when they should win, and head coach Corey Mace needs to get used to that. To paraphrase US warmonger and corporate stooge Donald Rumsfeld, “You coach the team you have, not the team you might want or wish to have at a later time.”
Having said all of the above, the Saskatchewan Roughriders also win when they should lose. It’s the only reason any normal Saskatchewan Roughriders’ fan sticks around. The team is the embodiment of the phrase “it’s always darkest before the dawn.” The Riders’ habitual gross incompetence and hapless inconsistency is what makes the unexpected competence and dumb luck wins so sweet, and keeps us coming back for more. We all just have to sit through the bed-shitting. So shut up and enjoy it.