The Saskatchewan Roughriders’ youth movement took another step forward with the news that the team has replaced the decrepit and elderly 34-year old Darian Durant with the young and spry 33-year old Vince Young.
“Not only is Vince several months younger than the quarterback we just jettisoned,” explained Roughrider Head Coach and Evil Genius Dark Helmet, “but he has fresher legs since he hasn’t actually played football since President Obama’s first term in office.”
When the assembled press shifted uncomfortably in their seats, Dark Helmet went on to state: “Vince Young! Get it? Young. Vince Young. You know, like: He’s young. Ah forget it. You people make me sick.”
In related news, the Roughriders also announced that they have hired former CFL team owner Nelson Skalbania as Senior Advisor.
Editor’s Note: Who knows if this makes sense. It will definitely make for an interesting season, and you have to give Head Coach Chris Jones credit. He’s making it clear he wants to win and he’s fearless about it. Go big or go home. Maybe this is Doug Flutie all over again, and with this team’s stacked roster of receivers, it could be fun. Let’s just hope Mr. Young doesn’t show up at the press conference 50 pounds overweight. And then training camp 70 pounds overweight.