BREAKING NEWS: CHEVY COMMERCIALS DUMBER THAN GMC

What is it with GM and their truck commercials?  Don’t want to get eaten by a bear?  Buy a Chevy Silverado.  Of course; makes complete sense.  I was complaining about the GMC baseball and basketball commercials, but Chevy has nothing on GMC.  Here is the latest abomination.

A guy walks into a room, is told he is about to be eaten by a bear and must choose between two cages.  He sees the bear and gets into one of the cages.  Then we tie everything together with…  a Chevy Silverado.  And it ends with the guy saying:  “Look at the size of its head.”

Let’s think about this. How would this commercial explain how we even got to the point that the guy is standing in this room?  They tell him to put on a reflective yellow highway worker vest (Safety First!) and get him to stand in the middle of a cement room in a painted square in front of not one, but two open cages.  He would have to know something is up when the only other person around is standing in another room behind a plexi-glass safety shield.  I think most people would have already been asking some questions, yet he appears to be pretty okay with just waiting this whole situation out.  What idiot does this?

I’ll tell you what idiot does this.  The idiot who does not appear surprised to see a 700 pound bear released into a room and, after managing to avoid being eaten by the said bear, does not react with anger or threats to sue Chevy’s ass, but by telling us that the Chevy Silverado is a beautiful truck.  Is that a normal reaction to almost being tricked into getting eaten by a bear?  No, it is not a normal reaction to almost being tricked into getting eaten by a bear.  Hey, you guys just about got me killed… love the truck!

Where did they get this guy? He is so blasé, I can only assume they found him in the bar next door and he’s already hammered.  Then he goes back to the bar after the commercial and his buddies ask him where he went, and he’d tell them that he went next door and almost got eaten by a bear. Okay Barry, whatever; next round’s on you.

And to end everything off, the Silverado looks like it’s parked on the street, so the bear presumably could just head out the door to eat all the Priuses, I guess.

Who comes up with these ideas?  “Hey Jerry, how should we sell this Chevy?”  “How ‘bout a bear almost eats a guy?”

The next commercial after the guy-avoids-getting-eaten-by-a-bear spot is the Peptocopter! with the song that sounds vaguely like the “America!  Fuck Yeah!” song from Team America: World Police.  I like it.  At least that commercial makes some sense.  The US military should design all its drones to look like Peptocopters.  Right before some jihadist gets his head blown off, he’d be thinking “what the fuck is tha-?” Boom! The expression on these guys’ faces alone would be worth the price of the munitions. (By the way, what exactly does Pepto-Bismol do besides turn your poop black?  I’ve tried it.  It sucks. Imodium is the only way to go. I’m just saying.)

And one further thing.  Could the introduction of the new show Blood & Oil have been any more poorly timed?  Let’s start a television show about an oil boom town right in the middle of the worst oil slump in more than a decade.

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