So what just happened there? With two spears and a jackhammer, Bill Goldberg just put down Saskatchewan resident and performance enhancing drug aficionado Brock Lesnar in less than two minutes. Survivor Series, held in Toronto today, was scheduled to end at 11:00 PM local time, but instead it ended a half hour early with a surprisingly efficient Goldberg victory. Is this what CFL fans can expect next Sunday at the 104th Grey Cup (coincidentally, also to be held in Toronto)?
I am assuming that the WWE decided to go with the short program on Goldberg/Lesnar because, even at the height of his powers in the old WCW, Mr. Goldberg’s move set was limited to the aforementioned spear and jackhammer, and a lot of yelling and screaming. Now he’s pushing–what, 60? 70?—and can’t have much left in the tank. Well, whatever the reason, congratulations Mr. Goldberg on being 2-0 against the Beast Incarnate. May I presume we will see these two gentlemen in the squared circle at Wrestlemania next year? Perhaps Mr. Goldberg will learn how to do a headlock and we’ll get a whole four minutes out of him. Or Mr. Lesnar will bring a taser.
In the meantime, the Calgary Stampeders, perhaps playing the role of Bill Goldberg, will be matched up against the Ottawa Lesnars next Sunday for the CFL Championship. It sure kinda looks that way. Yikes!
However, as the ever-astute Glen Suitor pointed out, while the Calgary Stampeders are, on paper, far and away the best team in the CFL, and may be one of the greatest teams in the history of Canadian football, they don’t play games on paper (except maybe tic-tac-toe, which should always end in tie). In any event, the Grey Cup is not tic-tac-toe and the Grey Cup is not scripted (except 2013), so it appears that I will need to attend BMO Field to find out what happens. I’m flying out of Calgary on Thursday and I’ll be staying at the palatial Fairmont Royal York in downtown Toronto. Maybe I’ll see that damned horse in the hotel bar. Hey horse, why the long face? Thankyouverymuch.
With Ottawa’s victory, I am sure that Maples Leaf Sports, Bell Canada and CFL Commissioner and Moores storefront mannequin Jeffrey Orridge are relieved they don’t need to shit that brick that seemed to be inevitable after a surging Eskimo team looking liked it was going to make Toronto’s Grey Cup an all-Alberta affair. The Grey Cup rubber match between Ottawa and Calgary (Remember 1948 and 1968? Of course you do!) might produce a sell-out after all, especially since capacity at BMO is only about 9,500. Anyway, I’m sure everyone involved is breathed a Trumpingly huuuuge sigh of relief.
Three quick notes before these sleeping pills kick in and I go to bed.
First, doesn’t that one CFL referee look like that guy on the A & W commercials? Anyone know what I’m talking about?
Second, didn’t the Saskatchewan Roughriders sweep the Ottawa RedBlacks this year? Shouldn’t that mean the Roughriders should be in the Grey Cup this year? (Yes, it should.)
Third, is CFL Commissioner Jeffrey Orridge the “maestro” on that dumb GMC commercial?
Oh, and by the way, what the hell is going on in Westworld? After that Anthony Hopkins soliloquy, I am starting to feel like I might be a host.