The following are my predictions for Week 5 in the CFL.  First, I want to express my outrage at the shocking lack of sportsmanship shown by The Undertaker when he showed up at Battleground last Sunday, unannounced and uninvited, to kick Brock Lesnar in the nuts and tombstone him, twice.  That would be like if the BC Lions showed up at Mosaic this Sunday for the Hamilton game, concussed Kevin Glenn with a helmet to helmet hit, and then scored two touchdowns. Actually, the way Saskatchewan’s defense is playing, I would not rule out two BC touchdowns this Sunday.

Calgary at Ottawa

Calgary is the only championship-calibre team in the league right now and they prove it every game by finding ways to win (almost) each week.  Ottawa will only win one more game this season, and it won’t be this one.

Calgary over Ottawa

Toronto at BC

The British Columbia Lions think they are all that because they beat the worst team in the league twice already.  Toronto is a legit Grey Cup contender and, after a week resting up, they will bring BC back down to earth.  Fortunately for the Lions, only two fans will show up for the game, and they will both be related to Travis Lulay, so this loss will slip under the radar.

Toronto over BC

Winnipeg at Edmonton

Winnipeg is for real.  They showed it against the Grey Cup Champions last week.  Edmonton slipped past a lousy Ottawa team after the Redblacks crumpled in the fourth quarter.  Winnipeg is waaay better than Ottawa.  And blue is a nicer colour than either red or black.

Winnipeg over Edmonton

Hamilton at Saskatchewan

Last week I compared the Saskatchewan Roughriders to Dustin Johnson, given both entities’ propensity to choke.  Well, guess what?  Johnson proved the doubters wrong by winning the British Open in a playoff, so I have every confidence that the Riders will get similarly back on track with a win over the–wait, what?  It was Zack Johnson who won the British Open, not Dustin? And what’s that you say?  Zack also stole Pauline Gretzky away from Dustin, too?  Yikes, it’s been a bad month for Dustin.  The Riders should make him an honourary team captain.

Now, the conventional thinking of anyone who has watched the Roughriders play in the last 40 years is that the Roughriders will win this game because everyone knows they will lose (except Chris Schultz; geez man, glutton for punishment), but until the Roughriders prove they can do otherwise, we should assume they will continue losing (but once they do win, watch out).  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:  you’ll never go broke betting against the Riders.

Hamilton over Saskatchewan