This Halloween, the Saskatchewan Roughriders roll into Calgary masquerading as a professional football team.  I’ll be at the game, masquerading as a loser blogger with no friends.  Yes.  Masquerading….

Hey! The Green and White, the Official Newsletter of Rider Nation, just arrived in my Inbox.  Right on the front cover:  Rod’s Blog.  That sounds vaguely pornographic.  Try saying it five times fast.

RodsBlogRodsBlogRodsBlogRodsBlogRodsBlog. The more times you say it, the more pornographic it starts to sound. Remember, I’m a loser blogger; everything sounds pornographic to me.

I like Rod Pedersen’s stuff.  He acknowledges that he is not objective about the Roughriders but his material is not overly pro-Rider and it’s always an easy read in a good way.  This week, he claims that the “2015 Saskatchewan Roughriders season will be remembered for what it is, but it will also go down in history as “The Year of Jeff Knox Jr.”.  That’s a little like saying the Titanic will be remembered for sinking, but it will also go down in history as inspiring a very successful Céline Dion song.  I’m a big fan of Knox, and any accolades he receives are well deserved, but let’s not go crazy here.  For example, who was the best defensive player on the 1978 Roughriders? You are not allowed to google it.

Anyway, the picks.

British Columbia at Toronto Argonauts

The regular season is almost over, but this game will involve two firsts for the Argos that usually happen a lot earlier.  First, their starting quarterback will actually be starting the game.  Second, they will be playing at home.

I want the Winnipeg Blue Bombers to make the playoffs so I’m hoping that the Toronto Argonauts will get spooked by these two unusual events.  That kind of adversity can sometimes really mess with a team.

Toronto Argonauts over British Columbia Lions

Saskatchewan Roughriders at Calgary Stampeders

Are the Roughriders still playing football?  So very tired.  When is this season over?  They’ve already been mathematically eliminated from the next three year’s playoffs, so let’s just call it a day, shall we?

Frankly (I’m always very frank), the worst thing about this game is that when Rider Nation shows up at McMahon on Saturday, the Stamps fans will just let us have it.  The only thing that shuts those people up is the fact that the Riders had, prior to the 2014 season, regularly pulled off some remarkable regular season and playoff game wins over the Stumps.  The locals could never go too crazy during the game because they knew that, regardless of how good it looked, the Roughriders might still win.  Now, they can just lay into us without fear of any late-game heroics that would allow us to respond in kind.  This year, we’ve just got to sit there and take it.  Even if the Roughriders build, say, a 20-point lead in the first quarter, we can’t get too excited because, well, you know.

We’ll always have the 2010 and 2013 Western Finals, though. (No need to talk about the 2012 Western Final.  Nothing to see there.  Move along.)

Calgary Stampeders over Saskatchewan Roughriders

Ottawa Redblacks at Hamilton Tiger-Cats

I already picked Hamilton to lose this game weeks ago when they lost Zach Collaros, so I guess I’ll stick with that.

Ottawa Redblacks over Hamilton Tiger-Cats

Montreal Alouettes at Edmonton Eskimos

I want the Blue Bombers to make the playoffs, so I pick the Eskimos.  I’d go into greater detail here but I am exhausted from putting together my aforementioned loser blogger costume.

Edmonton Eskimos over Montreal Alouettes