BC at OTTAWA RECAP!

That Ellingson touchdown sure looked like someone waggled offside, and I think I know who:  Ray Elgaard.

What’s the deal with those log cutters when Ottawa scores?  They don’t seem to be able to cut through the log.  That’s like if that dumb horse in Calgary couldn’t make it all the way down the sideline after a Stampeder touchdown; it just starts coughing up a lung at around the 40 yard line and rolls over on the rider, breaking her leg.  Ernest Jackson had to saw off his own log for his touchdown.

Duane Forde, the enemy of meat.

Here’s my problem with the BC Lions.  They’re so nice now.  Travis Lulay leads the nice parade, followed by Elimimian and Bighill, who also seem like nice guys (even while dismembering opposing players).

I remember in 2007 when some guy on the BC Lions’ defensive line was asked about the pending Western Final against the Riders, and he said with contempt dripping from his lips: “We’re not gonna lose to those guys.” He wouldn’t even say the name of “those guys”, like how President Clinton “did not have sexual relations with that woman.”  What a dick.  The BC guy, I mean.  That team just oozed dickishness.  (My personal theory is that at some point in the mid-2000s, Roughrider management developed a mantra:  Beat BC.  If you couldn’t beat BC, you weren’t going to the Grey Cup, so they built teams that could beat BC.  And the rest is history.)

But back to the Lions, in Rocky III, there is a point in which Mic tells Rocky:  “The worst thing happened to you, that could happen to any fighter; you got civilized.”  Well, that’s what happened to the BC Lions.  They are a bunch of pussies.  I think their nasty character commenced in earnest when Wally Buono came to town, but it was there before.  Buono seems like a good Christian family man, but in the same way that Chris Kyle of American Sniper fame was a good Christian family man.  Now that Buono kicked himself upstairs, BC has lost its meanness.  Buono still cuts players like a cold-blooded sniper (Simon, McCallum, etc.) but it’s not the same.

So here’s the thing, BC.  You got civilized.  Snap out of it.  (I went from quoting Burgess Meredith to quoting Cher.)

And one little personal note.  When I first saw that scene from Rocky III, I thought Mickey told Rocky that he “got syphilis”, not civilized, which, for me, gave the movie an entirely different feel. However, as we all know, Rocky did not get syphilis until Rocky V, or at least, if he had, that would have helped explain Rocky V.

I hate Russ Jackson.  Yes, Hall of Famer Russ Jackson.  That Russ Jackson.  The guy holding the piece of wood there.  That guy.  I hate him.  Not as much as I hate Tom Clements, but it’s up there.  Just keep walking, Russ, if that is your real name.

Gabriel Pizza?  I hate Gabriel pizza.

This was a fun back-and-forth game until BC started wilting at the very end of the third quarter.  I think the difference was Lulay.  He’s overthrowing receivers–just by a few inches–but football, like porn, is a game of inches.

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