EDMONTON FOOTBALL CLUB SETTLES ON NEW NAME

The Edmonton CFL football team has announced it will now be known as the Edmonton Rough Riders.

“We were leaning towards the nickname ‘Redskins’ since that name recently became available,” said team CEO Tim Hitler (no relation), “but ultimately decided on Rough Riders after learning there was a warehouse full of old Rough Rider helmets and jerseys in Ottawa left over from the last time the CFL had a team called Rough Riders.”

The name Rough Riders was last used in the CFL by the Ottawa CFL franchise owned by Horn Chen, who accidentally bought the team after thinking it was a local fried chicken franchise, but later operated the team as part of an elaborate practical joke he was playing on his half-sister Hornette, who served as the team’s offensive coordinator for two seasons.

The press conference announcing the new name concluded abruptly when a member of the local press inquired as to what the acronym CEO stood for.

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