ROUGHRIDERS DON’T LOSE (TOO BADLY)

Last week—on Discombobulated!:

“You see, the Roughriders like to jerk Rider Nation around.  The Roughriders will demolish the Hamilton Tiger-Cats this week and get everyone’s hopes up that they will be able to beat the Calgary Stampeders the following week at home.  Then, on a beautiful prairie evening on July 28, in magnificent sold-out Mosaic Stadium, basking in the adoration of 33,000 fans loudly frothing at the mouth, they will totally shit the bed against the Stampeders and throw Riderville into an emotional tailspin.  We’re talking a beating of biblical proportions.  Cats and dogs, living together… mass hysteria!  Real wrath of God type stuff.”

Fast-forward to this week.

The July 28th version of the Good Cop/Bad Cop Saskatchewan Roughriders went into full Shit-The-Bed ModeTM, but only for the first quarter.  Thereafter, the offense still stunk, but the defense put on a heroic performance for the ages, led by the sack machine known as Charleston Hughes.  I don’t think any team has locked down the Calgary Stampeder offense like that in the last five years.  Statistically, the Stampeders looked like one of the East Division Semi-Pro teams.

I was in Regina for this game and was able to enjoy the post-game comedy stylings of the 620 CKRM “Fifth Quarter” phone-in show, headlined by some guy name “Sheldon” who completely lost his shit while still managing to sound completely rational and sober. Give this guy his own show. Hell, give this guy his own CFL team.

Anyway, what is there, really, to say about the 2018 Saskatchewan Roughriders?  Spectacular defense, well coached, solid in every position– except quarterback.  Everyone likes Brandon “West Jet” Bridge, but he is just not a starting quarterback.  We all want him to turn this thing around, but it just doesn’t look like that’s gonna happen. And it is really disheartening to see a defense of this calibre wasted on a team with no quarterback.

Next week Mr. Bridge likely starts for the last time until Mr. Collaros returns, before he goes back on the six-game injured list due to another concussion or a blown hammy or a very badly stubbed toe or whatever damned injury is next in that brittle carrousel of, uh, injuries.

What’s Darian Durant doing right now? I mean, besides spending the last of his $70,000 bonus.

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